I think there’s something wrong with my eyes…I can’t take them off of you.
My magic watch says that you don’t have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast.
Do you have the time? (she/he gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down.
You look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend
Can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I’d call when I found someone better.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) ‘Cause I could see myself in your pants.
My name might not be Taco Bell, but I sure can spice up your night!
Q: “What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?”
A: “I want you inside me!”
Jingle bells, Facebook smells, Google+ go away. Myspace yuck, Bing sucks, Twitter ALL the way!
When a penguin finds its mate they stay together for the rest of their lives. Will you be my penguin?