Freaky pick up lines

  • You know what’s really.. BIG on me ?? My tummy let’s get something to eat
  • Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? – See Funny Pick Up Lines
  • There’s this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn’t go by myself.
  • You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I’m 20.
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • That outfit would look great crumpled in a heap on unsolved mysteries
  • “I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U…”
  • I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
  • Know what would look good on you? CRUTCHES
  • You look much more attractive in person than you do through my telescope.
  • Do you like heavy metal? Because I can teach you how to scream.
  • Hi, (look her up and down) you’ll do
  • Guy walks up and checks your tag- “just what I thought…made in heaven.”
  • Do I know you from somewhere, because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on?
  • Girl, you gotta be tired cause you been running through my mind all day.
  • I’m a necrophiliac, so why don’t you drop dead and I’ll think about it!
  • I killed your crush so we can be together forever
  • Just call me baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months
  • Got two nipples for a dime?
  • Come on, Im a friend of your dad.
  • The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement
  • I’d suck a fart out of your ass.
  • If I touch you do you promise not to call the cops?
  • Help, somethings wrong with my eyes – I just can’t take them off you.
  • You look to classy for pickup lines, thats why I have roofies.
  • Can I read your t-shirt in braille.
  • Hickory Dickery Dock, It’s time to suck my cock
  • “I’m working on a porn site. Wanna be in the first video?”
  • Did you swallow a light bulb or something because you are shiny!
  • I’m throwing a house party….and the only person invited is you
  • Call the cops…See Who Comes first.
  • I wanna eat your shit on bread!
  • Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cause every time I see you, you turn me on!
  • I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes?(if no) Please?!
  • I got u something special baby, it’s the condom I used when I lost my virginity
  • I think I feel like Richard Gere – I’m standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
  • I don’t want to come between you… or do I
  • I find your lack of nudity disturbing
  • Do you wipe front to back or back to front?
  • It’s hard for me to concentrate around you because all the blood from my brain has immediately gone to my boner
  • If I could be anything, I’d love to be your bathwater.
  • Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
  • I like my coffee like I like my women…sealed in an air tight bag in the freezer
  • You might want to call a bomb squad, because there’s going to be an explosion in your anus
  • “There’s a tornado, come in my basement”
  • If your feeling down, remember, I’ll feel you back up.
  • (Smell a girl) “I smell that you are in season… want to breed?”
  • My couch pulls out, but I don’t .
  • I wanna eat the flavors off your tampon .
  • I just want to be friends….with your insides .
  • Hi, I’ve been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it’s time to see if I’m right.
  • Let me spell my love for you S-T-A-L-K-E-R .
  • You have the cutest smile when you sleep .
  • GET IN THE VAN!
  • I’m sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
  • If you ever want to see your children again, you’ll do what I want.
  • Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
  • If I’d follow you home, would you keep me?
  • I want to take your skin off and wear it as my own I have a van out the back and there is free candy in it.
  • Excuse me, i managed to notice that every time i pass you, a monster grows inside me called “bitch get in my car” i just hope it
  • doesn’t escape and make me call after it …
  • I only thought about you once today–I just never stopped.
  • (look at a girl’s crotch then her eyes) “You gonna eat that?”.
  • What’s the difference between a boner and a Lamborghini? I don’t have a Lamborghini right now.
  • I’m kind of new to this environment… can you show me the way to your apartment/house?
  • I’m the kind of man who deserves to have women I don’t deserve.
  • I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.
  • I would drag my balls through 200 yards of broken glass to kiss the dick that fucked you last.
  • (Walk by a girl, stop and go back to her)”What kind of perfume are u wearing?” (she will say a perfume)”thats lovely, thats what a woman SHOULD smell like”
  • Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
  • Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!
  • You’re so good lookin’ I’d drink your bath water.
  • I eat pussy, how do you like me so far?
  • You’re like a dictionary – you add meaning to my life!
  • You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
  • OOOOOh baby u must have wished upon a star cause today is your lucky day!
  • Do you like rainbows, cause you can taste my rainbow any time.
  • Hey baby I wish you were the yellow pages , cause i’d let my fingers spread you open