I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.

19

If you were an STI I’d never get rid of you

28

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

26

You’re about as gross as a fit person naked.

24

Did you know that I saved a girl’s life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?

26

You and I are like butt-cheeks. We may have crap between us, but we always stick together!

25

I’d drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot coals, just to chase a laundry truck that MIGHT have your dirty underwear on.

27

You smell like trash. May i take you out.

26

I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt.

26

Ya wanna drink of my milk, livvy. If you’re lucky there’ll be food in the straw.

22