Nasty Pick Up Lines

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

You’re about as gross as a fit person naked.

Did you know that I saved a girl’s life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?

You and I are like butt-cheeks. We may have crap between us, but we always stick together!

I’d drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot coals, just to chase a laundry truck that MIGHT have your dirty underwear on.

You smell like trash. May i take you out.

I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt.

Ya wanna drink of my milk, livvy. If you’re lucky there’ll be food in the straw.

If you want to come over to my place later I have a gallon of lube and all four Shrek movies on blu-ray.

Thank goodness I’m only not allowed to be within 500 feet of a school and not of a bar, am I right?

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

Omg! You look exactly like my sister.

Do you like guys that are close with their moms? Because my mom is with me and if you don’t give me your number she’s going to come over here and ask you what’s the […]

Are you a barber? Because your haircut is terrible and I just assumed you tried to do it yourself.

Are you a fan of Alabama football? Because I have a heavy crimson tide right now.

Dang girl are you a computer from 1990? Because you’re slow, loud, and only have a slot for my floppy drive.

Let’s make our buttholes kiss.

Is your dad in prison? Because if I was your dad I would be in prison.

I just want to tell you that you’re really beautiful [pause] but I’m g@y.

You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.

What color is your sh!t?

The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.

I’ve been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.

I’d rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in.

Hey baby… you got any diseases? Want some?

Do you mind if I hang out here until it’s safe back where I farted?

As long as i have a face, you will always have a place to sit.