I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

39344

They call me “The Fireman” because I turn the hoes on.

38153

If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.

38026

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

752

What has four legs and doesn’t have the most beautiful girl on it? My bed. Want to fix that?

591

Baby, my house is the bowling alley + you're the bowling ball: picked up, fingered, thrown down, and keep coming back for more.

423

Are u a sea lion? Because I want to sea u lion in my bed later!

400

You Say: I'm jealous of your dress. She says "Why?" You say: Because it's touching your body, and I'm not.

378

Cum sit on my face and I'll eat my way to your heart

376

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