I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

28939

They call me “The Fireman” because I turn the hoes on.

28888

If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.

28816

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

603

What has four legs and doesn’t have the most beautiful girl on it? My bed. Want to fix that?

471

Baby, my house is the bowling alley + you're the bowling ball: picked up, fingered, thrown down, and keep coming back for more.

332

You Say: I'm jealous of your dress. She says "Why?" You say: Because it's touching your body, and I'm not.

314

Are u a sea lion? Because I want to sea u lion in my bed later!

310

Cum sit on my face and I'll eat my way to your heart

293

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