Library Pick Up Lines

Damn… you have more hard covers than my private stash

Have you heard the one about the librarian with more stacks than she could handle?

No one believes I am a librarian, maybe you should try to check me out.

You have the tightest hair bun in the place.

Let’s play search engine: enter your terms and see if you get positive results.

I’d catalog you under “Desirable!”

You’re the hottest one I’ve checked out all week.

So… they say Dewey had a harem, care to help me start mine?

They say you’re like a public library, anyone with a card can check you out.

I may not be a cataloger, but I bet I can find a place to fit you in.

So is it true academic librarians only let scholars in?

My mom was a librarian, she taught me every should have access to my stacks

What’s you cutter number baby?

Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play librarian.

Do you mind if I use my Dewey Decimal on you?

Hey baby, let’s play library, you can be the door and I’ll slam you!

(No?) Do you want to go up to my room?

Are you a librarian? So then you can believe in open access to your stacks?

So when’s the last time you were “on the desk”

My fingers are quite strong from typing all day.

These are actually several years old, I forgot about them until Steven Linked to them the other day.

Hey girl, could you give me a recommendation for a good book —  perferably something by a contemporary female author who deserves more recognition than she is getting.

You must be reading Fahrenheit 451, because you’re smokin’!

Charles Dickens might have given you Great Expectations, but I can meet them.

Why don’t we Middlemarch right out of here and go get dinner?

Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.

It’s no wonder Big Brother’s watching you. On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re 1984.

I don’t need to go In Search of Lost Time — I know it’s the time I spent before I met you.

Watching you walk through those stacks is A Moveable Feast for the eyes.

It’s funny that you’re reading Tennessee Williams, since you’re the only 10 I see.

Call me Ishmael. When can I call you?

Grab a dating advice book and ask if you can test-drive a pickup line on her. (Cheesy line delivery is welcome in this instance.)

Grab a random book near where the cute stranger is standing. “Oh, this is that cool book that helps you meet interesting girls in the history section.”

If you’ve read the book the person is looking at, provide a quick, entertaining review. Your helpfulness will be appreciated, plus you’re indicating that you might have similar tastes in literature.

Offer to help her reach a high book, or find a book in a section you’re familiar with. (Some expertise is required here.)

Offer colorful commentary in the magazine section. “Is Vanity Fair the co-ed version of Vogue?” “I check here weekly to keep tabs on my buddy Clooney.”

“What do you look for in a man, other than impressive literacy skills?”

Pick up the same book he/she is looking at. “Wanna start a book club?”

Ask for help. “The last five books I’ve read were awful. Do you have any recommendations?”

Hang out near the new releases, where most people visit: “Have you read this one yet? Reviews were pretty mixed.”

“If we were in a romantic comedy, this would be the cute scene in which we meet, banter, and quickly fall for each other.”