Call me Messi. Because I’d love to get between your legs.

Is your name Joe Hart? Because you are head & shoulders above the rest.

Is your name Thiago? Because you are worth more than gold and Silva to me.

Is your name David? Because you’re making me Luiz my mind.


Call me Huntelaar. Because I’m Klaas.

Is your name Heskey? Because I would love to take you out for Emile.

Call me Totti. Because I’ll be loyal to you.

Hi, Alba outside at 8 to Pique you up and sing you a Song and later on maybe Puyol pants down and we’ll get Messi.

Is your name Vincent? Because I could do with your Kompany.

Call me Coutinho. Because I’m great in the hole.