Call me Messi. Because I’d love to get between your legs.

Is your name Joe Hart? Because you are head & shoulders above the rest.

Is your name Thiago? Because you are worth more than gold and Silva to me.

Is your name David? Because you’re making me Luiz my mind.

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Call me Huntelaar. Because I’m Klaas.

Is your name Heskey? Because I would love to take you out for Emile.

Call me Totti. Because I’ll be loyal to you.

Hi, Alba outside at 8 to Pique you up and sing you a Song and later on maybe Puyol pants down and we’ll get Messi.

Is your name Vincent? Because I could do with your Kompany.

Call me Coutinho. Because I’m great in the hole.