Call me Messi. Because I’d love to get between your legs.

111

Is your name Joe Hart? Because you are head & shoulders above the rest.

102

Is your name Thiago? Because you are worth more than gold and Silva to me.

100

Is your name David? Because you’re making me Luiz my mind.

108

Call me Huntelaar. Because I’m Klaas.

113

Is your name Heskey? Because I would love to take you out for Emile.

106

Call me Totti. Because I’ll be loyal to you.

102

Hi, Alba outside at 8 to Pique you up and sing you a Song and later on maybe Puyol pants down and we’ll get Messi.

103

Is your name Vincent? Because I could do with your Kompany.

104

Call me Coutinho. Because I’m great in the hole.

116

Do you play for West Brom? Because Albion top of you tonight.

66

Is your name Shay? Because you’ve Given me an erection.

79

Is your name Victor? Because Anichebe yours.

69

Do you support Chelsea? Because I want to put my Willian you.

67

oy: What’s your favourite position?

Girl: Guy on top, you?

Boy: Left wing.

73

Your ex is like Liverpool. History.

67

Guy: Wanna go out?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

78

Guy: But like football, just because there’s a goalkeeper doesn’t mean you can’t score.

71

Are you IF Klose? Because you look like you give 99 head.

68

Girl: “I’ll be right back!” Boy: ”

75