Call me Messi. Because I’d love to get between your legs.

102

Is your name Joe Hart? Because you are head & shoulders above the rest.

95

Is your name Thiago? Because you are worth more than gold and Silva to me.

91

Is your name David? Because you’re making me Luiz my mind.

97

Call me Huntelaar. Because I’m Klaas.

104

Is your name Heskey? Because I would love to take you out for Emile.

99

Call me Totti. Because I’ll be loyal to you.

97

Hi, Alba outside at 8 to Pique you up and sing you a Song and later on maybe Puyol pants down and we’ll get Messi.

96

Is your name Vincent? Because I could do with your Kompany.

98

Call me Coutinho. Because I’m great in the hole.

110

Do you play for West Brom? Because Albion top of you tonight.

52

Is your name Shay? Because you’ve Given me an erection.

56

Is your name Victor? Because Anichebe yours.

53

Do you support Chelsea? Because I want to put my Willian you.

48

oy: What’s your favourite position?

Girl: Guy on top, you?

Boy: Left wing.

53

Your ex is like Liverpool. History.

53

Guy: Wanna go out?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

59

Guy: But like football, just because there’s a goalkeeper doesn’t mean you can’t score.

56

Are you IF Klose? Because you look like you give 99 head.

55

Girl: “I’ll be right back!” Boy: ”

60