The Best Ted Pick Up lines
Can You Just Email me.
would you show me what you’re hidding under your clothes.
Hey listen, my heart is talking to you.
Are you human ? baby, just give it to me all.
have you ever heard of a double heartbeat.
You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.” “But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.”
“I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.”“Oh, you beautiful babes from England, for whom we have
traveled through time… will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas? We will have a most triumphant time!”
“Girlie I think I love you. I wanna buy you food. I wanna buy you corn dogs.”
Maam, in the leopard print dress, you have an amazing rack.
Have You Ever Heard Of The Term Fuck Buddy?
God was showing off when he made you.
You are everything I never knew I always wanted.
Youre why cavemen chiseled on walls.
Pardon my lips. They find joy in the most unusual places.
“I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.”
“Your husband told me you were the most beautiful woman hed ever seen, but he didnt say anything about the most beautiful woman Id ever seen.”
“I really wish that you’d come home with me. You’re so cute and I’m really good in bed, believe me. You smell good, too.”
“We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You complete me.”
“Wanna play a game? You can be Little Red Riding Hood and Ill be the Big Bad Wolf.”
I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.”
Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.”
I’m just lookin’ for a little slap and pickle!”
I wanna shake you naked and eat you alive …”
“You’re a fuckin’ ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death and then play around with your blood.”
“Excuse me, miss. I just want you to know that I don’t intend to sleep with another woman until I’m back here in your arms
with my head resting between your creamy thighs.”
?Theres no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless youre into that sort
of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. Im just kidding. But seriously, Ive got em.”
The greatest thing about my job is, the women never taste the arsenic.
Would you be so kind as to lend me your heart, or shall i cut it out myself?
You bleach your hair? Im the same way! I bleach the bloodstains out of my carpet! this will be fun.
“I love long walks on the beach, gives me just enough time to dump your body.”
These were the best Ted pick up lines. See also: