Don’t you hate it how the coyote always remains suspended in midair until he looks down? It’s just SO misleading.

14

I’m attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun-with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared.

14

Two large masses that are close together are supposed to radiate gravitational waves. I think that you’re a big part of that.

14

I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years, 3 months, and 12 days, plus-or-minus 2 days. Would you care to check my error bars?

13

I love you. Please don’t turn away from me just because I’m a physics major. Oh, okay, I’ll leave.

14

Those other guys said that your eyes shine like stars. But can they explain how they shine with equal brightness? Oh, okay. I’ll leave.

14

Bartender, bring this fine lady a Scotch and H2O. Hey baby, that’s just my way of saying Scotch and Water. You like?

13

Like the ideal vacuum, you’re the only thing in my universe. No, it’s alright, I’ll just go over there.

12

I saw your empty valence shell from way over there. Did I mention that my nickname is Sodium?

12

My friends told me that I should ask you out because you can’t differentiate. Do you need math help?

17