Men are the best cooks, because with two eggs, one sausage & a little bit of milk, he can fill a woman’s stomach for nine months.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Cause I could see myself in your pants.

Are you a washing machine? because I want to fill you with my dirty load

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in-between the holidays?

I’ve got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

If you were a transformer, your name would be Optimus-fine.

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Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.