You smell like my mother. I like that.

3

You know what material this is? (Grab your shirt) Boyfriend material.

4

When I heard you came to town I threw my happy sock away… don’t make me buy another sock.

5

As of now, my mother doesn’t have a Facebook account so, if we were to take this thing to the next level, you wouldn’t have to worry about rejecting her inappropriate Family Request.

3

Can I have your number so I can phone you and apologise in the morning?

4

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

5

Forgive my Kirk-like boldness, but you wanna go back to my mom’s place and watch ‘Dr. Who’?

4

Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.

5

According to this app, only four people in the past sixteen hours have found me so tedious that they’ve unfollowed me. Just saying.

5

If you’re going to say cheesy things, at least find new cheesy things to say.

4