After this early morning spring training workout, you wanna come be my afternoon delight?

4

Leave your boyfriend and come with me baby, if he’s is anything like the Brett Anderson trade, he’s got a small, disappointing package

4

My love for you is like the A’s and Daric Barton: it never dies.

4

If you were a reliever, I’d sign you up to a three year contract with a vesting option

4

They call me Jhonny Peralta because my big stick makes up for my lateral deficiencies

4

Looks like you’re the big ticket free agent, and I got a little money to spend.

4

Hey babe, now that the season’s over, lets go back to my place and watch the highlight film

4

Girl are you the Oakland A’s dugout because you’re so full of shit I kNOW YOURE CHEATING ON ME DAMMIT WHAT’S HIS NAME????

4

Babe, I didn’t forget about you, how bout if I call you up this September?

4

Waiting for you is like waiting for a Matt Harvey start. It takes a while, but it’s so worth it in the end.

4